2019 @ rodericke.com

The new me

As some readers might know, I was adopted at age 4. For 50 years, I casually searched for my birth family but in June 2018 my state changed the law so that adoptees could submit forms that would grant identifying information if either the birth parents agree or if they were deceased. I did so and by November 2nd I received my original birth certificate with my biological mother's name. Ironically, I was adopted on November 2nd 1972. Within days I had located my "half" birth siblings. Again, both biological parents were deceased. The biological father died on my birthday in 2017. I was a year too late. Stupid humans telling other humans what they can and cannot know and do. Anyhow...



Moving into 2019 has made me rethink many of my philosophical and religious beliefs and even some of my politics. While I still consider myself solidly a "liberty" loving individualist, I'm less and less enthralled with political parties...not that I ever was.

GET IN WHERE YOU FIT IN

My concentration and efforts have been geared more toward reclaiming my existence. The best way I can describe being an adoptee without any connection to your biological existence is being born with amnesia and creating a life while in this state; spouse, children, history and everything that comes with living a life. However, imagine one day waking from the amnesia and finding out who you really are. This doesn't negate the "you" you created. All the people in your "created" life are still important but now you look into the mirror and see other faces in your face. Yes, I have pictures of my biological mother and father. I have their stories from biological relatives. And I have the friendship of biological siblings. But even with all this positivity, remains the "outsideness", unable to connect completely. Getting in where you fit in first requires understanding your "shape" in the Universe.. Are you a circle, a square or a quadrangle? Where do you fit in comes after figuring out who you are.


So, as I progress into 2019 some of my writings may seem less focused than the previous. In fact, anything you read before this, should be taken with a grain of doubt. I may have changed some of those views. Look for the newme tag to be sure it is a newme posting. Thanks for following along with me.

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